Huge disappointment again...wtf....Im totally out of my mind from now....Seriously..Its like something heavy, real heavy just come crushing down my skull and exude my brain juice out...damnit...

Cant believe Im repeating history again and again and again....Am I really a failure??? Geeessshh, sometime it makes me stop believing in praying for miracle....I mean pray for good means laaaa, not for the sake of miracle to happen....

Am I that dumb???? Why on earth do I become dumb n dummer the older I get??? I dont deserve this at all....I mean I have never offended anyone in my 20 years of living???? Why do I get such nuisance dat I failed to achieve what I've wanted to get?? My goal...My dream....I've tried, really I do....I just dont understand whats goin on with me....

I have a control freak parent, and uncleared vision of a Bf, moderate @ average house to stay in, comfortable life, poverty never get to invade my family.....So what else have I missed??? What else that I'm missing that cause such dissapoinment for me??? and to dady n mumy????

This is just a whole freakin mess...Now everything tergendala....Traveling, freedom, social life, independant....Poooffff!!!! Just gone just like dat....wtf.....Im just soo confused.....The thoughts of giving up all these ever come across me tho...But then, is it worth it to take the risk???

*Im in doubt*

Happy Chinese New Year

I'm bloated...But cant stop eating eating and eating...

Longing to see all my long lost friend....Somebody told me something happen to Joanna's hair and I cant wait to check it out....

Met my primary school classmate during visiting to his place@ mum's collegue's place....And he still remembered my name!!! Im touched!!! Coz I've forgotten his name....

Owh, I'm working now...At saberkas but not at the previous place...Seek and you shall find...Was expecting the booss to give us red packet...But sadly no....No complain tho...

Red packet!!! Ang pow!!! I want!!! I need some cash laaa!!! Before I get my 1st pay...huuuhuuu...

Will be celebrating my 1st anniversary with my baby in a few days....But den he didnt noe bout it...Guys sometime too ignorant...Wat can do???? Owh, we were supose to be nominated for "Best Couple"...But then they cross our name out cause I'm not a student there anymore....Booo0hoo...

I'm freakin foneless again coz my cousin took her fone back..All this while I've been using hers, hvnt got a new one...

Heard our A-Level result out oredy.....And I think mine suckxx....OMG!!! Dunno if I get to continue my studies....huuhuuu...Chemistry kills me...

Tho I'd love to go to college again...I miss everyone sooo much!!!


Happy CHINESE NEW YEAR friends adn family and to all you readers.....May all you have a prosperous new year...

2009 New Year Resolution.....

NOOOo.....Noo...Noo...No more of this New Year Resolutions thingy from me....
Sooory.....
Cause its of no use at all....I remember I've post one last year...And I dont think I've achieve any of it...Well, this year its gonna be different.....

Im thinking of achieving something instantly...No need new year resolutions or whatsoever laaa....Just do what I should do, think what I should be thinking of, act the way I should act...hrrrmmm....

And for the first time in my life, I actually wanted to go to school...College I mean....Not to study though....Just go there look for my friends, chill out hang out....Killing time gossiping....Laugh on rumours about me...wtf.....I still cant believe that I'm done with Inti...Am not Intian anymore!!! huuhuuu.....

Owh bummer...Now it reminds me of my result thats coming out real soon....Owh God, show me some miracle, give me one!!!!

By the way, I think Im freakin-ly so into Selena Gomez....This new girl from Disney channel....Damnn!!! She pretty!!! Like the cutest teenage girl on earth!!! *hey,watch it, Im straight*

Look at her!!! Though I'm not a guy, I just love to look at her face....Just oh- soo adorable!!!

P/s : Go ahead and push Miley off the stage gurl...I never like her anyway.....And she cant sing...Buu--huhh!!!


Chicago 7 isnt calling me...So I guess I have to find another interview to go....Haiihhh!! Come on laaa....What kind of qualification do u want from me??? I just want to have my own money...And I ready do want to get a new freakin phone...UrrrgghhH!!!!

Hrrmmm..I just realised that I've a few drafted post...Well, gona post it laa...
Ooo..this blog...Soo pity laa...Cant manage any time for this little thingy....

Anyway, in brief...Gona post something now...Have to...Pls dun stop me.... :-p

I hardly online now...N rarely chat now coz somehow its hard for me...Not goin into ddetails about it....Dont be fooled tho if u see me in 'online' mode....Wasnt me but my bro...Long story cut short, everything is automatic....I know you guys misses me, but what can do...Wait till I get my own lappy and broadband ok????

More of sad news, I'm still phoneless...N heck!! I think I'm getting used to it, which I dun enjoy it at all coz I sometime do miss texting and calling...especially to my bie....Worst, its holiday now for more than 1 month, and I havnt get to meet most of my fren!!! DAmnnNn!!! Coz they cant get to me unless I freakinly secretly sneak dady's fone to my room in the middle of the night....Means I'm gona receive ur text a lil late....If not, they you'll find ur text time will be pending....dammnn!! Unless, if u're lucky...Coz sometime I do have fone to borrow...But not for long.....

eee..this is sooo embarassing....Anways, Im hard to reach, but just drop me texts..I'll make sure to read it, tho abit late...

Ok den..Move on to the next topic...Lets see, Christmas just ended....Wasnt that fun for me tho....None of my friend come for visit...Well, its ok tho....We dont actually do a big one....

And meanwhile, I'm still hunting for a job....So far, I've gone for interview with sharing planet, all joy, some boutique, unisense, starbucks...And they all rejected me....wtf....huuhuuu....But then few of the company didnt actuthey really reject me, but they want me to sign a contract......Thats not for me tho...FYI, am not gona stick to ur company for long....Goosshh!! I need cash during the holiday and a new freaky phone!!!! Mom dont wana contribute, thats the problem....huuuhuuu....

4 more days to New Year...Gessshh!!! Time really flies....And I dont even know what I've achieved soo far...hrrmmmm....My 2008 new year resolution....Have I resolve any of it??? hahaha!!! I dont think soo at all....Shiiatt...Lousy....

Last, Happy New Year 2009 readers........!!!! May you get drunk the night before and puke all over the place and wake up with major headache@migraine...Nggeehheeee.....


*dun mind me...Am just makin myself happy / makin fun of myself to forget that I'm gona celebrate in 'single' status...Tho I dun think I could go out and get wasted that nite...wtf....*

Am free now...Owh yeah!!!!
No more books, no more papers for me nemore.....At the moment....Damn!!! Am soo glad that I'm finally officially done with my A-Level....

Thank God also that I'm finally out of Inti....The last few month was a tough one for me....Not just in terms of studies, but also some other issues....Somehow, I became the center of attention for these guys in school....But am not bragging about it at all...Why?? Coz those attention warent good at all....Stupid boys...I duno wats up with them and whats goin on in their tiny lil' pea brain...All they could do was talking talking n talking shit bout other people....Their just worst then us gurls gossiping.....Shiiattt!! For God's sake, let me leave Inti in peace ok???

Am halfway through my exam....Like 5 more papers to go....All together 14 papers for only 3 subjects...Can you imagine??? Naaaa, my own fault...Should have worked harder for my AS exam....Well, no time for regret now....Gotta focus on the paper now....

Slept for whole 2 hours like a baby today..As soon as i reached home of course...HAH!! Cant wait to fill all my sleepless night after 20th Nov...And GOshh!!! I'm finally done with A-level....

Am counting days to meet some all friend too....Its been long....Even one of them dat I've never get to meet up with her for the last 2 years...Missed her soo much....Wonder how she'd look like now..
Hrrrmmmm....

Read about SMK SUNGAI MAONG ( my high school ) today in Borneo post..."SMK Sungai Maong continues to shine"...Wowwww!!!! Unbelievable....Am actually surprised...Sungai maong used to be the school where all the so called useless, naughty, hopeless student study...No offence to those people who've studied there....I know I was once a student there before....Guys would fight among each other, among races....Reasons: jealousy, gurls, U 'be-song' me, I 'be-song' me...U jeling me, I jeling U then we fight...Gurls quarreled in the class, by the toilet@washroom....Pulling hairs and trying to tear each other's uniform....

Luckily for the gurls, none I've witness or heard that got injured....Mostly happened to the guys...damnn!! Once,therez a fight happened right in front of me...But same old thing laaa...Once somebody got hurt, they got chickened and run away leaving the injured one behind...Then teacher will now come, send him to the hospital....And in some cases, police would now come to the school, catch those involved...blaaablllaa....

Owh, those days....Was a young gurl then....Watching those 'free show' somehow excites me...
And now, the school got awarded a certificate of recognition for excellence in PMR and SPM...And last year, was a sole representative for Sarawak and Sabah in some robotic competition...The school's sport team also won the 2007 Malaysian School Sport Council S'wak Jubilee Relay....and for this year, they got 2nd place for INTI game design tournament (which Im un -aware of though Im currently in Inti)...Lousy me...

Gessshhh!! I left that school 2 years ago and look how far they've gone today....Amazing!!! Good job Sungai Maong...Keep it up!!! Well, I used to be 'ashamed' going to that school...But not anymore...Ahaaakkxx!!!

2.30am now and am craving for chocolate....Its been long since I had my last one....Please people, get me some chocolate!!!! And am hungry!!! Diet really suuxxx!!! Wat can do...All because of beauty....Muauahahahahaha!!!!
*planning to register myself for gym...since I'm gona have a long long holidays after the exam...But now, where can I get money???*

Depressed....

Again....I've let mom and dad down....All because of my final exam's result....wtf...I dont understand laa....The older I get, the dummer I am now...I guess....Somehow, I cant absorb anything I'm studying...Is it because of distraction from my surrounding or just be being soo lazy....The worse part is dat being the only gurl in the family... Thats when all the attention @ pressure gets u...

Not talking to mom and dad at all....They're just too much this time...I guess all I can do now is focus on my studies, and pray that I'm flying to KL next year to continue my studies....Thats all....Get the heell out of this house @ Kuching asap....Come on, Im 19 into 20 now...I need my own freedom laaa.....Cant I do what I want whenever I want without getting your permission??? Without have to ask???

I'm oso phoneless....Which is not cool at all....Cant believe I'm still ok without my phone...Tho sometime I miss texting and calling and receiving text and calls....I miss his text and calls tooo!!! I'm nothing without my phone!!! ArrrgghhhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Blaaabllaabllaaa....I'm fcuked up and stressed and depressed etc......Out of word liaw.....Todays grammar suxx...I noe....

10 Words Women Loves to Use

1) FINE !!

~ The word women use to end an argumentwhen they are right and u need to shut the hell up...

2) 5 Minutes

~ If shes getting dressed, it means half an hour later. 5 minutes is only 5 minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing

~ To calm before the storm...It means something!! And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE!!!

4) Go ahead ( me I use 'Go ahead LAaaa!!!' )

~ This is a DARE, NOT permission. So DONT U DARE DO IT....!!

5) Loud *SIGH*

~ Is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. Means she thinks your are and idiot and why shez wasting her time arguing with you about nothing. [ Refer no 3 for reference]

6) Thats Ok @ Sokay

~ The most dangerous statement a woman can make to a man. Thats ok means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when yu will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks

~ If a woman thanks you, do not question or faint. Just say 'you're welcome'.

8) Whatever....

~ Is a women's way of saying 'Fcuk YOU!!!'

9) Dont worry about it, I get it...

~ Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doin it herself. Ths will alter result in a man asking "Whats wrong??'" or "Whats your problem??"
For the woman to reply, pls refer to no 3 again....

10) Dont want!!!!

~ Means she want la, you idiot!!!!